The Long Wait
Writing news is limited, I completed Chapter22 of book 2. Perhaps by the end of August, I will have the finished article. Then there is the question, will it stand up as a novel in its own right or just as a sequel. Then what do I do next...
More, much more important is the new arrival. Due on Saturday 3rd, not far away. Aile is so uncomfortable now and I feel for her. I just hope it goes well for all and we have someone hale and whole. It really is a worry. Partners get great concerns about the whole process, those with any bloody intelligence. Men are so used to trying to fix things as the Mars/Venus man put it. At the labour, you have to stand and watch your partner in pain and unable to do anything about it. Then there are decisions you may have to make for your partner, which could dictate the outcome. It's frightening. I despise anyone who has walked away from this, those who leave the mother to cope on their own without a thought for any but themselves. It's what my spouse had to put up with first time around. Perhaps I should be thankful, for I have watched my daughter grow steadily towards a beautiful woman and he missed all that...More reason for me to be there now.
I have asked my wife to give birth on the 7th, as I calculate that I will then have sufficient rest in time for Germany v Poland and then I get 2 weeks leave to enjoy the start of the World Cup. 3 matches a day, you know it makes sense. Thankfully, she too has a sense of humour, so my bollocks remain intact!
We have no names, well that's not true; I have lots of names. Aile has reserved jusgement until after the birth. Only thing I know, if it has to be the 6th, it won't be called Damian!
Interesting Times
Have found a government grant scheme to promote development in relation to the mining heritage. I have posed the question, could that mean they would consider giving me a grant? I think they are more used to shelling out for other things, but well - if you don't ask...
My mother-in-law arrived from Estonia yesterday and I still weary from the motorway journey in torrential rain! She did come bearing gifts and as I think Estonian beer, chocolate, sausages and black bread is the proverbial Dog's Bollocks, I was more than happy!
However, there is part of me feeling low. The baby is now due in 12 days and I feel the enormity of it. The world appears to be on my shoulders and I begin to wonder whether everything is prepared and will i be ready?
There are two sides of me; One is the leader, the motivator who can talk a seriously unfit lady up from the bottom of the Grand Canyon, who can inspire confidence. The other is the worrier, the one who will give a running commentary on the great event. the one who's mouth will engage because the brain has stopped. Which one will turn up for the birth? Who knows!
On a slow, boring day like this when the rain cascades down, when the work is slow and relentlessly being dumbed down, when I am at the stage in my writing, where a warm character is about to leave the narrative for another plane. That's when I question how I managed to get into this rut and how I will provide in the future. According to the leaflet from the hospital, this is apparently normal behaviour. Oh God! Reassuringky normal.!
Back
I returned to work today, three weeks after the gall bladder op. It's all back to normal now. They wanted to know if I wanted redundancy! Strange, but not the right time with a baby due in 2 weeks.
The birth approaches and I am decidedly nervous. More so than the general anesthetic for my op. Then I was shaking, worried that my historical event of a heart attack 4 years previous may have figured. It didn't. Now, I am very nervous. Why? Simply, the knowledge that at parts of this, I will not be able to provide any tangible assistance to relieve the pain or assist. That is scary. I don't care about being shouted at, I've told Aile to do it in Estonian, so I can nod my head and smile like an idiot.
The book progresses, now on Chapter 22 of the 2nd novel. I went to see another publisher regarding the first and we sat down and discussed it over a cup of tea. They are an established company in the old mining belt and he sounded interested. They do offer a publishing scheme by which you part finance it and get back some element of revenue. The scary side of it is that I would have to stump up £3000 and it would take 1500 sales to get that back. First novels are never expected to make money, they are supposed to let you loose on the market. In theory, they are the loss leaders for future gains. Or so I am told, reality or a clever marketing ploy? Who knows.
I believe the theory now that you don't go in this business to make money, unless you are lucky and hit a niche based on some half baked discredited theory, which appeals to everyone's paranoia.Oopss, sorry Dan... Alternately, if your work is adapted for big or small screen. Or you sell lots of books. So why do people do it? To be able to release your dreams, the thrill of creating stories, escape from the hum-drum of daily life. But you need the will-power and sheer bloody mindedness to persevere. Oh well, onwards and upwards.
Convalescing
I had a laproscopic cholecystectomy five days ago. Try saying that while you're drunk!Gall bladder removal, they gave me five days notice and next thing its all over. I have some neat holes (four) in my front and have been signed off for three weeks. This will help me catch up with DVDs, sleep and of course finish the book. Sent off the novel to another publisher today, we wait and see.I have a feeling I really should be trying the one that xpects you to pay part of the publishing and get part of the profit back, but there's some editing and a lot of printing to go first.
